Belly of the Beast

“What have I done?”

This is the thought that has been running through my mind today. I signed up for a challenge I knew would be nearly impossible to complete. I’ve done this to myself before and somehow made it to the other side, having no clue how I got there. I like accomplishing hard things. Whether or not I like the process in getting there? Ha, not important.

I’ve never done anything as insane as this though. #12scriptsin12months?

(Production on Emma’s Chance is a close runner up, shooting 9-10 pages/day with horses, and one camera. Next would be childbirth, followed by playing football in high school. I know, that’s kinda of out there, but it was good for me. What can I say, I like the idea of impossibilities.)

So here I am. Stuck.

Do I blame my lack of pages on post-production with Emma’s Chance? Nope.

On my partner and the fight we had? I don’t think so.

On my kiddos? Sorry mama. On the elections? Come on.

BUT SERIOUSLY, WHO CAN I BLAME!?!?!

“No one Anna, because you are going to get through this. You will succeed. You will pull up your big girl panties, hunker down, and plow through those pages like you never have before. Get your head in the game and rise up. You know your story, you know your characters, you know the world – you have everything you need to accomplish this draft. Your mind is vast, your pages wide open, so f–cking get your ass into gear, and COMPLETE THE SCRIPT.”

Pep talk.

I have them often. We need that sometimes, right?

I’d love to hear what others say to themselves when they’re in the bottom of a pit, lying in the mud, looking up towards the light, feeling sorry for themselves, wondering how the f–k they got there, and how the f–k they’re getting out.

I usually don’t swear. I find it distasteful and poor in thought.

But swearing is incredibly powerful for me. It awakens my belly of the beast, my survival instincts, my masculine side … to get that f–cking woman in the attic, who’s fallen asleep on the job, AWAKE, and puffing on that damn cigar!!

Yep.

That’s where I am. If I don’t buckle down RIGHT NOW, I’m never going to make it.

And how was your day? Going well? 🙂

x and o,

AEJ

PS I love words

Definition of Belly of the Beast. Generally it means being in the middle of a very bad situation or a dangerous place. You can be in the “Belly of the Beast” if you go into the central command of enemy headquarters.
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2 Comments

  1. Anna,
    I needed that today. You know how real estate can be. Yesterday was one of those days. You are so amazing. Keep up the good work.
    Hugs!
    Anne Syme from Berkshire Hathaway Home Services